Wednesday, November 5, 2008

In the beginning and into the future

"Speculation rests on a radiation-covered NASA satellite returning from Venus, but it only remains a speculation. Anyone who dies during the crisis of causes unrelated to brain trauma will return as a flesh-eating zombie, including anyone who has been bitten by a zombie. The only way to destroy the zombies is to destroy the brain." - Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Truer words have rarely been spoken. With a new era dawning in American politics, we must cast our vision to the future and to the skies. Of all the challenges that face this country and the president-elect, none require our dedicated efforts more than the threat of zombie attack initiated by extraterrestrial radiation brought to earth on a massive comet. We must heed the lessons of "Night of the Living Dead" (1968) and "Deep Impact" (1998). The parallels are too striking to ignore. While the election of Barack Obama will certainly be the best thing that could have happened to this country, we can not afford to ignore its inevitable consequences.

That is why this blog will serve as a repository of critical information, a zombie survivalist handbook, for all people in the terrible times ahead. We wish you all good luck, and Godspeed.


Pig hearts Zed said...

we shall cherish these days, as the beginning of the rest of our lives, and we shall....

Pig hearts Zed said...

Here was my submission:

"I envision strengthening our defense, nationally and globally, against the impending zombie virus outbreak. Due to the shifting global conditions, it is only a matter of time before the Z virus emerges from the depth of Africa and spreads its infection to the rest of the world. Making small militias throughout the U.S., trained to "kill the brain" (the only effective way of killing a Zed Head, or zombie if you will), will be our best source of defense. While I understand we will run into complications, revisiting such warnings of this impending crisis will only aid in our training. I think a federalized takeover of the movie and television industry will enable us to run zombie movies and shows 24-7, which can be studied and adapted into our daily lifestyles. God save the Queen."