Don't die

I don't want this blog to die, so I'll give you this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_RdYmK90O0

March Double Feature

As the 2nd film (and hopefully a better one), I'm going with Day of the Dead. I actually haven't seen this even though I've seen the other Romero flicks. My guess is the nudity will be low, but it will be solid otherwise.



DAY of the DEAD (1985)
Directed by: George A. Romero

Day of the Dead, the third and concluding chapter in George Romero's zombie trilogy is the most distinctly 1950s-style science fiction version of the lot. Set in Florida, as the film begins the dead have taken over the world, outnumbering humans 400,000 to one. The handful of surviving humans have taken refuge in an underground missile silo and argue and yell at each other like players in a Rod Serling Twilight Zone episode. Among the survivors are Sarah (Lori Cardille) -- a scientist who is trying to reverse the process whereby the dead turn into flesh-eating, irrational zombies -- and Dr. Logan (Richard Liberty) -- an out-of-his-mind psychologist who wants to capture the zombies and turn them into domestic help. Things heat up when the military tries to take over the scientific experiments.

March Flick

All right boys, here's the next pick

Flesh Eating Mothers (1989)
"This bizarre horror satire involves a rabies-like virus which is spread by a philandering fellow to several harried housewives in the same suburban community, turning them into savage cannibals. That's it for the setup -- what remains is a series of outrageously gory scenes in which the maniacal mommies begin hacking up, cooking, and eating everyone in sight, including local police, stray cats, their loutish husbands, and even their own children. It's up to a few surviving kids to unite against the neighborhood menace and join forces with a doctor to come up with a cure for their mothers' l
lethal affliction."

As a huge fan of Dead Alive, I have high hopes and expectations. I look forward to posting the first review later this month.


Zed

Nazi Zombies in the Snow

Pursuant to Bud the Chud's comment concerning Nazi zombies in the snow on the hallowed Sci-FI, it may be that he was thinking of Dead Snow. The trailer may be more easily viewed on youtube.



To explain, the misguided choice of Zombie Lake was driven by Dead Snow's non-availability from Netflix. Zombie Lake, at the very least, provided the requisite fix for zombies and Nazis.

Zombie Stripper Nazis

February is double feature month for The Fresh Brains club, so here we go...

Zombie Lake (1980) Le Lac des morts vivants

“During World War II, a group of villagers ambushed and defeated a band of German soldiers and threw their bodies in the nearby lake. Now, the Nazis have returned as angry zombies, preying on unsuspecting teenage female swimmers and skinny-dippers. The town mayor (Howard Vernon) doesn't know what to do, but a young girl may hold a crucial secret. Cult director Jean Rollin (The Naked Vampire) helmed this infamous horror film.”

With a lead like that and a poster that is a work of true zombie art, my expectations were high. That the first full seven minutes of this film are nothing but a naked woman futzing about in a lake bolstered my confidence. The first appearance of the “zombies”, however, revealed this shit stuffed rotting donkey carcass of a movie for what it really was, an abomination against God and everything Night of the Living Dead stands for. There's B-movie bad, so-bad-it's-good bad, there's unwatchable mess bad (ala Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song), and now there's Zombie Lake fucking awful. There's makeup falling off zombies, underwater scenes shot in what appears to be an above ground pool, horrific dubbing, and gore that goes little beyond ketchup packets and munching noises. There's a plot, I suppose, revolving around the “head” “zombie”, who, before becoming a zombie (no clear details on the particulars), bones a local French woman, she gets pregnant, and the daughter plays an integral role in the destruction of the zombies, I guess. I can't be much more specific. I fast forwarded through most of it. That said, Boobs. In addition to the opening sequence, a soccer team of women pile out of a bus, strip, frolic, and are promptly munched to death. Also, there is a gratuitously long scene wherein the chief pre-zombie Nazi bones the chick to produce the offspring who will eventually bring about his doom. I guess that's irony.

Overall: WTF?!?!/5 brains
Acting: brick/5 brains
Plot: 0/5 brains
Gore: ketchup/5 brains
Boobs:4/5 brains

Zombie Strippers (2008), "Zombies, shit."

This stunningly brilliant piece of cinema belongs in the pantheon of motion pictures. It contains philosophy, existentialism, ontological pondering, social commentary, political satire, that guy who plays Freddy Kruger, Jenna Jameson, one shit tonne of boobs, and zombies. Awesome fucking zombies. Look, there's this plot and stuff happens. None of that matters. The first half of the movie is pretty much strippers dancing. They become zombies. The second half of the movie is those same strippers dancing, and now they're zombies. The action crescendos to a glorious climax when the pair of alpha zombie strippers square off in a battle royal featuring techniques typically reserved for Thailand. The gore is abundant and beautiful. The film weaves a tangled web of plot and drama that draws you in and holds you tight. You can practically smell the stripper vanilla. I laughed, I cried, I saw the zombie soul laid bare. When (not if) Ms. Jameson deservedly wins her Oscar, the clips they show will all come from Zombie Strippers.

Overall: 4.9/5 fresh brains
Acting: 4.9/5 fresh brains
Plot: 4.9/5 fresh brains
Gore: 4.9/5 fresh brains
Boobs: Boner/5 Zombie boners

Sorry this got long. There's so much to say when one touches either end of the zombie universe.

Zombies in Jane Austin

Quite possibly the only way to make a Jane Austin movie that doesn't suck ass.

http://io9.com/5150296/undead-pride-and-prejudice-to-launch-horror-film-of-manners

Economist Cover

The Economist has a zombie hand on it's cover. Somehow, Barack Obama and the financial crisis are going to result in reanimated dead. This is amazing.